i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize