READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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