Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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