used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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