Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize