We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can I color on your dick again?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
