We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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