Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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