people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
