either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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