id be glad to
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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