You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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