Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
