we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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