I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize