I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You don't make any sense
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