She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize