is your mom at the bar?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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