i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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