Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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