whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
