clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
