you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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