my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize