walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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