Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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