there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
