Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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