I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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