You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
