brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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