I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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