I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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