i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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