You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
