I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
