Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
