i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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