you guys were way drunker than both of me
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
