Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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