she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
