I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
