she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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