i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Randomize
