STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
