Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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