So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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