What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
That reminds me...we need to get swords
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
