Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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