Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
