I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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