Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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(419): View more from Ohio

So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1

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(713): View more from Texas

I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick

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(818): View more from California

Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken

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