i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
