I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
