you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
