I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So vagazzling was a success
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
