Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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